I was looking through one of my old journals and found this. It was some thoughts of mine when I was reading "Franny and Zooey" by J.D. Salinger. It's funny looking back at how I thought when I was younger how many themes persist and how many have changed. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the paradox that you can only truly attain something of value if you are content without it. If you can't come to peace with reality then you can never progress in a positive meaningful way (obviously not a complete picture). But anyway, hope you enjoy this:
People need things. We all have a part of us that feels empty and we tend to fill it with things. Sometimes we start to need those things in order to escape the feelings of emptiness.
If you need something perhaps you don't deserve it; perhaps you aren't ready to really have it.
I feel like some people need to be successful. I have always thought very critically of success. It seems logical and desirable by society, but somewhat contrary to the life and teachings of Jesus. But most importantly success is dangerous. Success changes you. Success can be a very selfish endeavor. Some people need success. It drives them, the spotlight, respect, power, money, success. I fear success.
"I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody." Zooey in Franny and Zooey p30 [context: Zooey is a famous actor struggling with happiness in the light of apparent success]
I'm alright being a nobody. Or at least I need to be alright with it. Maybe if I need success I shouldn't have it. Maybe if I can't be nobody I shouldn't be somebody.
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